30 May 2010

sad sad sad

My body aches and my eyes feel heavy, old.
I want to crawl under blankets and pillows
and make a fort like a child.
You can come hide out if you'd like.
I'll save you a spot.
As long as I can be still with you tonight
and say not a word
as I am in a sad mood tonight.
A kiss on the forehead and a hand laced in mine,
your voice softly saying that tonight will be fine for a while
should suffice.

Confession #3

Whenever you are having a bad day, I can't help but wish I could draw you close and hold you in my arms. I know you don't need my protection. I know you don't ask for my protection. I simply wish I could take the bad out of that particular day, put a content smile on your face, and make you feel loved and cared for the way you should feel loved and cared for. In my arms, I want you to feel a sense of calm. I want you to feel safe, my love.

29 May 2010

Valley of Deception



Valley of Deception
Music and words by MADRUGADA

When you wake up in the morning,
I'm still sleeping by your side.
Last night's sweetness drifts from your fingers.
Sweetness lingers and we must hide.
All the loving and the longing -
We’re still hungry, yes, and we’re running
and in the valley of deception
that's where I've gone.
Yes, in the valley of deception
that's where I lied down.

In the arms of sweet deception,
I will rest my stupid head.
Off tide arrested,
yes, and you can trust me
and I trust anything
that I have said.
Do you love me?
Let me hear it.
Do you want me?
I need the feeling.
'cause in the valley of deception
that's where I've gone.
Yes, in the valley of deception
that's where I've gone,
where I’ve gone.
Yes, in the valley of deception
that's where I lied down,
where I lied down.

In the valley of deception.

Yes, in the valley of deception
that's where I've gone.

27 May 2010

Frustrated and Bitchy

You and the humidity crawl under my skin.
It's usually quite delightful when I don't have deadlines at work.
My body is tense and waits for you.
My thirst for you needs to be quenched
or rage will fill me (secretly, of course).
I need someone to massage my hips and thighs.
No, that's not a come on
but I can easily turn it into one,
she says with that stupid grin on her face.
I've been working too hard,
too many nights of bringing work home with me
instead of that brown eyed prairies boy
with messy hair and that look of despair.
And I'm smiling that stupid smile again.

Hey, check this out.
Honesty:
Summer humidity makes me itchy and makes me want to maul someone.
When I am this aroused and my thirst is not quenched, I feel angry.
When I am this aroused, I partake in all my bad habits.
Nail biting. Dermatillomania. Teeth grinding. Et cetera.
I've wanted to smoke cigarettes even though it's been a year since I've quit.
I have a terrible one track mind.
You should consider yourself lucky that I'm not there
because I'd leave marks tonight
unless you put me in my place and take control.
I sit at my work desk and you penetrate my thoughts
which is fun until I become late on my deadlines.
You're completely right.
I have no control.
And you know what?
I don't really care.
I think about you pulling me close and kissing me
curiously deeply honestly searchingly...
wet lips hot breath half shut eyes fingers in hair...
I think about this over and over and over
as my heart falls to the pit of my stomach
like that time you ran your finger against my arm
or when I first felt your breath on the back of my neck last summer.

And I won't even go on about how I need to be fucked
and how I would love to have the orgasm to end ALL orgasms.
Now you know why, other than nervousness,
I've always had bitten-up nails around you.



"Sometimes it's like someone took a knife, baby,
edgy and dull and cut a six inch valley
through the middle of my soul...
At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet
and a freight train running through the middle of my head.
Only you could cool my desire -I'm on fire..."





Ah, I remember dancing to this song at the club years ago...when I was aroused and lost in music. Long tight skirt, high sexy slit, knee high boots, chains. One time my former, very square boss was at the club. He stood at the edge of the cage surprised and watching me, with his jaw to the floor. I liked having that control. Mind you, I had to put up with him staring at my cleavage while I politely peddled linens from there on after ...

25 May 2010

brain chemicals.

i'm stupid.
stupid, stupid, stupid.
this humidity is getting to me,
i say,
but you know the truth.
i'm crazy.
i'm crazy about you
and i can't do anything about it.
yes.
i say i accept it.
i do, dear, i do.
i accept the circumstances
yet i cannot sleep at night on account of you.
sigh.

i'm editing myself.

until things get sorted out.
i will not hear.
things i want to hear.
but i know you.
you think the same.

i want to go home.
i want to see you.
but if i am under the same prairie sky as you
and you are not before me,
for a moment or two or three or more -
i don't know how much more heartache
i can conceal.

okay.
that was a little dramatic.

i want to see you.
i know i probably won't.
it's sucks.
such as life.
you should tell me to stay away
because you are completely addictive.

24 May 2010

The Finale of Lost

I spent the last six years watching Lost. In those six years, I often wondered why I was watching Lost and what the hell was going on. However, the show grew on me. It became a bit of a habit, something comfortable. I don't watch much television at all, let alone subscribe to cable. I'd rather read a good book. But I never missed an episode of Lost. I can admit to feeling a sense of relief that the show is finally over. Yet, I can't help but be a little sad that it is.

Let's face it. The show was full of eye candy. Guys running around wet and shirtless on a beach, dirty and with stubble on their faces. How could a girl (or guy) not watch!? The best part was that over the past six years, the men of Lost have crept into my midnight dreams. So, when someone asks me what I will miss about Lost - I'd have to say, oh, definitely these dreams.

Sayid. Naveen Andrews. I've had a thing for you since you washed your hair in The English Patient. It made me terribly sad when you turned into "Zombie Sayid". But I'll be seeing you and your beautiful brown skin again, I am certain.


Desmond. Henry Ian Cusick. Our time together involved exploring hands and your hairy chest. And then you turned into someone I know (yes, you) and then it got even dirtier. I smile, breathlessly. So long, brotha, and keep the beard if you know what's good for you.


Sawyer. Josh Holloway. I'm not into blondes nor blue eyes. But it was nice tuning in and seeing you wet/shirtless/sweaty/doing labor/all of the above. You may or may not have run around my dreams like that. You'll be missed, you sexy son of a bitch.



Note: I do not own any of these photos. If you do and wish to have them removed/wish me to give you credit (I found these photos via other blogs, not your website), please send me a message at delicioussatisfaction (at) gmail (dot) com.

23 May 2010

Turn On



Turn On by FISCHERSPOONER, from the album 1# (one of my favorite albums)

You're getting warm
(You're getting warm)
You hear the door
(You hear the door)
It is creaking
(Creaking)
A fever pitch, built so near and spreads tonight (A fever pitch...tonight)
Winds sweep
(Winds sweep)
Pull you close
(Pull you close)
Through the danger
(Danger)
I know I've got you where I want you tonight
(I've got you where I want you tonight)
I am your frontier explore my heart
(I am your frontier explore my heart)
I am your frontier explore my heart
(You're getting warmer, warmer, warmer tonight)
When it opens
(When it opens)
Trembling
(Trembling)
The fear gives way
(fear gives way)
Anticipation give pulls you nearer tonight (Anticipation tonight)
Red delicious,
(Red delicious) pink and wet
(Pink and wet)
It's hot now (I'm so hot)
I know I've got you where I want you tonight
(I've got you where I want you tonight)
I am your frontier explore my heart
(I am your frontier explore my heart)
I am your frontier explore my heart
(You're getting warmer, warmer, warmer tonight)
And you got it
And you know it
And you got it
And you know it
And you want it
And you feel it
And you got it
And you know it
And you want it
And you feel it
I am your [Pioneer] frontier explore my heart
(I am your [Pioneer] frontier explore my heart)
I am your [Pioneer] frontier explore my heart (You're getting warmer, warmer, warmer tonight)
I am your [Pioneer] frontier explore my heart
(I am your [Pioneer] frontier explore my heart)
I am your [Pioneer] frontier explore my heart (You're getting warmer, warmer, warmer tonight)
Tonight, turn it on
Tonight, turn it on
Tonight

Empty Spaces

There is a little space beside me tonight
but you'll have to crawl behind me
and press your long body close to mine.
I don't mind if your lips brush against the back of my neck
or if you bury your face in my hair.
I don't mind if your hand rests against my breast
or becomes curious enough to slide underneath my shirt.
I simply wish to be in your arms -
somehow, somewhere.
I simply want to be close enough to smell you
and feel some calm, some comfort in one another.

22 May 2010

Fortune

Confession #2

I have a weakness for shirtless, attractive men - preferably with hairy chests - holding a cat in their arms.

Come on, make this sick girl happy and send her a photograph....

20 May 2010

Confession #1

Every morning, I change the greeting message on my work telephone. Even though no one has yet to even call me on my office line, I purposely leave a sexy sounding greeting in hopes you would call and get turned on by my voice ... in hopes you would call me and say something terribly dirty in my professional ear. I love being aroused in my places I shouldn't be aroused in.

"I'll be in the office all day but I'm away from my desk at this time. Please ... leave me a message and I'll return your call ... as soon as possible. Thank you."

how you moved is all it takes to sing a song of when i loved

___________ he said,
___________
___________
___________
___________
___________
___________ .

somewhere in that, she said,
there's a song to be written
for the likes of you and for me,
for beauty and tragedy and paths not taken.
a warning for other - never flee.

___________, he said,
_________________.
i daydream, i plan, and i scheme
to get you alone in various ways
and in various positions.
and if i could dare be so bold
to confess to your quiet ear
_____________________,
i think about you when i come, my dear.

tell me something beautiful, she said,
in a slur of sleep deprivation and valium.
there is so much darkness that swallows me whole
and i'm afraid i need some kind of reassurance.
surely someone as beautiful as you
takes the time to dismiss all the ugliness.
remind me again
that someone like you,
so burning and so true,
can dig deep in the dirt and find something pure
to pay beautiful attention to.

come closer and whisper,
lips brushing against my ear.
say the words i long to hear.

My lover.
My love.
The secret in my eyes that stare at the ceiling in the middle of the night.
there are so many words to say
and so much silence to enjoy
in that empty spot beside you and me.

17 May 2010

black & blue, aches & pains




Sangrar Mi Corazon by MOY.

i have no words tonight. just a song. because i desperately long for your lips. so much so. tonight, i am terribly sad over you. it feels like nothing will ever be right with us. i lust for you. i long for you. i have love in my heart for you. as i ache and ache and ache for these paths that never lead us to each other. fuck.

12 May 2010

a question answered

in case any of you were wondering -
i am the one the killed romance.

11 May 2010

Dream (you had the amazing talent to get me naked in less than a second, lover)

My parents house.
My old room, my old bed.
People in the other room.
You sat down on my old bed.
I curl up with my head in your lap.
I look up at your face.
You look down at mine.
I sigh heavily and feel calm -
finally.
Your brown eyes gentle, curious.
You got me where you want me.
I stretch towards you.
You stretch towards me.
Parted lips.
Heavy breathing.
Eyes watching aching mouths watching eyes.
And then you kiss me.
It was like every first kiss of yours
that I dream about.
Hungry and breathless and slow.
Eyes half shut.
The smell of your breath with mine.
The taste of your saliva with mine.
You slip your tongue into my mouth.
I am shell shocked, electrified.
You kiss me deeper.
Our tongues tangle.
I want to make out with you on my old bed all day long.

I part from your kiss to slip under blankets.
Somehow, mysteriously, I am suddenly naked.
The blankets are soft against my skin.
You join me, unfortunately fully clothed.
I think to myself.
How do I remove those pants of yours so we can fuck?!
You slowly crawl on top of me.
I feel your knee push my legs open.
I feel the weight of you on top of me, familiar.
I wrap my legs around you to pull you closer to my body.
You kiss me again, deeply and passionately.
Your fingers in my hair.
Your tongue in my mouth.
My legs wrapped around you.
My body naked for you to devour.
Our hips moving against each other.
Always wanting more and more and more and more.

10 May 2010

How much longer, Loverman?



"I've got a master plan to take off your dress and be your man."

Oh dear, Nick Cave. You know how to make this girl breathe heavily. Crawl on my floor anytime.

08 May 2010

Loneliness and the Lonely

Lonely.
Loneliness.
The confession of loneliness always seems to hang in the room, unheard or brushed aside.
No one seems to take it very seriously.
No one seems to see it as a cold hand reaching out for warmth, an offered chair for a companion.
It is difficult to confess out loud,
"I feel so lonely. I suffer from loneliness."
I wonder why no one ever truly comprehends that confession.
Maybe I sound like a broken record,
he'd probably say it's just another one of my excuses.
Maybe the others just don't recognize a solution
for this nagging feeling I feel far to often.
It could be too difficult for them to confess themselves
or, perhaps, they simply do not know what it is like
to carry loneliness with them wherever they go
and the shame of admitting it aloud to another.

05 May 2010

Exhaustion

Photo by Delicious Satisfaction, May 2008

I'm tired for longing for something sweet.
I am done.

02 May 2010

music

i wish we could sit on the floor
and listen to our favorite songs together.
we wouldn't have to say a single word
but be in silence as we wait for that one song
that brings tears to our brown eyes.
you'd reach out to me and i'd put my hand in yours
and, maybe for a moment or two,
everything would seem calm in our world.
to the one that is so far away ~
i miss you, my beautiful friend.