21. If you were to live your life without your best friend, what would change? There is one friend who lives far away that I consider the person that knows everything about me. If we were to lose contact, my heart would break and so would hers. We would no longer have that fierce connection, amazing support, and that non-judgmental shoulder to cry on.
22. Tell us about a era of your life that you really miss. There was one autumn that lasted until winter where everything seemed so alive, so important, and so beautiful. I sat in crunchy autumn leaves and wrote love letters. I was mesmerized by the stars above me. I fell in love with the smiles of strangers and the cold winter air in my lungs. It was a lovely time so very long ago.
23. Have you ever been betrayed by someone that came as a complete surprise? Without revealing the person, if yes, tell us about it.
A newer friend at the time. Out of nowhere, he yelled at me that I was "nothing but damaged goods". I asked him to let me out of the car. He sped through red lights in the middle of downtown traffic while I screamed at him to let me out, stop the car. It was frightening. Two years later, he began to send me anonymous letters. That's the short version of the story.
24. Do you ever think that is a good idea to hide your feelings?
It is never a good idea. It is simply not healthy.
25. Tell us about your favorite year when you were a student.
I liked certain moments in high school when I'd skip classes to smoke cigarettes and listen to oldies radio while driving around with D.
25. When was the last time you were in a very good mood? What caused it?
A "very" good mood? I suppose it depends on how you define "very good mood". My definition - a few months ago when I arranged a party for my old friends. It was sheer happiness to see these old faces again. The end of that night was dripping with sweetness but that's another story.
26. Have you ever had a romantic relationship with a sibling of a good friend?
27. Tell us about the last thing that you did that you truly regret.
Things happen for a reason. I cannot let that hold me back in the grand scheme of things. Sometimes, I regret not going to school out west but that was choice I made and I don't lose sleep over it.
28. When did you laughed today?
I haven't laughed today.
29. Do you trust easily?
Yes, I do. But that's not to say I am not suspicious.
30. What do you care about that you wish more people would? General kindness and curiosity regarding the people in their lives.
31. Is it easier for you to go without food or go without sleep?
Well, going without food or sleep both equally turn me into a cranky bitch. I guess I can go without sleep longer.
32. What non-alcohol beverage do you enjoy drinking the most?
33. When you walk into a room full of strangers, generally how is your confidence?
Depends on who the strangers are.
34. Does talking about sex with anyone but your lover make you uncomfortable?
It depends on the person. "Anyone" is a fairly broad statement. If you mean, my mother - yes, uncomfortable. If you mean, leery weirdo in a van - yes, very uncomfortable.
35. Do you tend to believe members of the opposite sex mostly behave the same way?
I think there are some traits that definitely remain with the opposite sex. I do not wish to paint every man with the same paintbrush, but there are some behaviors that remain the same. Not all, just some.
36. Did you drink any alcohol this week? If yes, what?
Not a drop.
37. Would you ever consider being a vegetarian?
I was a vegetarian for a very long time and I would like to return to that one day.
38. Do you believe that there’s always room in your heart for someone?
I have always believed in this.
39. Do you believe in the concept of soul mates?
I believe in connection and that we learn something new from everyone that enters our lives.
I'm taking a break, thanks to Sunday Stealing. I'm going to try & dirty this up for my own amusement.
1. Are you happier now than you were five months ago?
In regards to employment, yes. In other aspects, it remains the same which I am not quite sure if you can label it as "happy".
2. Have you ever slept in the same bed with anyone that you shouldn't have?
I have no regrets.
3. Can you sleep in total darkness?
I can also sleep with the light on. I'm talented that way.
4. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, the one who got away, what do you say?
I'd like to think that I would sarcastically laugh but, knowing me, I would fall into silence.
5. What do you think about the weather this summer?
The humidity hasn't made me want to tear off my clothes in fits of passion enough. Sigh.
6. How many people do you trust with everything?
A few people.
7. What was the last thing you drank?
A very large cup of coffee.
8. Is there anyone you want to come see you?
There are many people that I would love to have visit me. Soon...
9. Name one thing you love about winter?
Layers and layers of clothing to remove. Kissing in falling snow.
10. Have you ever dated a Goth?
11. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
The stitches come out.
12. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having?
A monster headache and what is and always has been very clear to me about the people in my life but I always fail to recognize.
13. What's the longest that you have committed to one person and one person only?
Seven years. I'm tired.
14. What’s the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today?
15. Has anyone ever told you they never want to ever lose you?
Yes, grasping at straws at the end of a relationship.
16. Is there anybody that you wish you could fix your relationship with?
Yes, a friend in Asia who was like a little brother to me. I miss him and recently extended an olive branch. I am not surprised at his silence. I know in my heart that it will always be about him and he'll never see how he hurt me. With that being said, I sincerely wish him well in his life and I'll always remember the fun we had.
17. Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?
Why, yes! I'm pretty!
18. Do you think things will change in the next 3 months? How?
Summer will change to autumn. That I know for certain.
19. Do you believe that you never know what you got until you lose it?
I believe people fail to recognize the simple things in their life they should be grateful for on a daily basis.
20. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
I prefer to talk to the opposite sex. They cluck less.
I've always loved this song, ever since I was a child (The Everly Bros version, that is). I'll be honest...I believe it is my all-time favorite song. REM does a lovely version of it which I discovered in a documentary about the music scene in 1980s Athens, Georgia.
i would like nothing better than to be tangled up in blankets with you tonight. two sleepy lovers. hands in my hair. lips against your skin. breathing each other in. your eyes watching mine. my legs wrapped around yours. you inside of me. you inside of me. you inside of me. hotstickywet moans between parted lips that eventually turn into smiles.
and then, in that space beside you, i would curl up. two sleepy lovers. sleep....
This morning, Angelo the coffee shop guy gave me a free cappuccino. It's been years since I have tasted one. He added the perfect amount of cinnamon and the beverage itself had a delicious nutty aftertaste. It was perfect. It may not seem like much to some people but, for me, it is the simple things in life that make a day wonderful.
I nursed the cappuccino at my desk all morning long. The aroma of espresso and cinnamon surrounded me. I closed my tired eyes and deeply inhaled. I purred a quiet "mmm". All of a sudden, I was taken back to a brief moment in my life so many years ago.
Snowflakes falling around me.
Excitement in the air.
Colorful lights in store windows.
Exchanging grins with strangers.
Wishing for first kisses that never came.
Falling in love.
Trying not to fall in love.
Lipstick stains on coffee mugs.
Second Cup on Graham.
The smell of coffee and cinnamon
and feeling so good to be alive
as the snowflakes danced around me
and the cold air fogged up my glasses.
Wishing I could hold mitten covered hands,
wishing someone could see how beautiful everything can be.
Confessing everything in my old notebook.
Ink stains on my fingers and a smile on my face.
The years may have dulled me. If I look close enough, I can still see the beauty and feel excitement. In winter, I still feel like falling in love and walking mittened hand in mittenhand while looking at pretty lights and sharing a hot coffee that tastes of cinnamon.
I don't ask for much. Good memories, a good cup of coffee, and maybe ... just maybe ... you'll kiss me on a snowy winter day and hold my mittened hand.