14 December 2010

rantravecryweep

i wish i did not feel alone
in all of this.
i wish you could prove me wrong
but you only keep me waiting.
i wish i knew that you are hurting too
but you say nothing as always.
you've made me feel like
i am worthless
because you cannot talk to me,
you cannot explain,
you cannot call me up,
you cannot even try to fix things
or inquire when i was ill,
you cannot say hello,
you cannot say goodbye.
you just keep me hanging
and hoping i'll go away.
i am scared to go home
because the loneliness of you
will swallow me whole.
you were always a part of home.
you were always a part of coming home
and you are no longer
because, to you,
i am not worth
talking to,
trying,
being honest with.
you just keep me waiting,
you just want me to go away
because
it is EASIER for you.

i miss you.
my heart bleeds.
and i wish,
i fucking wish,
this could be
EASIER
for me
like it is
for
you.

05 December 2010

running out of time

skin left untouched,
undiscovered,
between sticky sheets
and cold winter nights.
bodies covered
in layers of clothing
that will never
fall to the floor,
ungracefully.

instead,
our breath will hang
in frosty air
and between
awkward embraces
like it was before
once upon a time
and when it was easy
to make use
of the minutes
when we were running
out of time.