01 May 2011

on my side

C~

my mistake is that i stuff the hole where you once were with too much work and other men who don't mind to share music, thoughts.

there are nights like these where i cannot stuff anymore in this wound even though i try my hardest. all of a sudden, i feel like i have been thrown and abandoned in a wide open field with no clothes on my body. exposed.

in a little voice and big tears, i say to myself, i miss you. i am selfish and i miss you. i am a stupid fool who tries too hard to fool everyone. i am dark and lonely and you were the only one who seemed to understand. in my mind and in email, i could think of you and know that this lonely fool is not so lonely because you are there in some way or another.

but you're no longer there, my friend.

this is not about love. this is not about lust. i miss you always having my back, always liking me as a person in your life. it would be so easy to say hello but i won't as i know you do not wish for me to be around any longer. i remind you of mistakes and pain.

i am your mistake and you are the one i miss so terribly tonight.

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