19 May 2013

To K ~

Years ago, you came over to visit my ex. We exchanged in small talk, the how are yous, the what's news. You told me about your new tattoo and I asked what you got done. My ex stood at the kitchen sink, doing the dishes with his back turned. You said a single word --- "this" --- as you took off your shirt to show me your ink. Your shirt thrown upon the back of the kitchen chair, your long hair upon your shoulders, your bare chest - I didn't notice your tattoo at all. I mumbled something about it being nice and left the room to say a single word --- "wow".

I haven't seen you since you helped my ex move out of the house. Two years. We hung out last weekend. We laughed and talked and ate amazing food until four in the morning. You never saw this side of me because you only knew me as the girlfriend of a friend and a miserable one at that. I know you think my fire engine red hair is sexy but I also know you only see me as the ex of a friend. Off limits and wrong ... but so incredibly challenging and enticing for me. 

Goddamn it, K - I wanted you then just as I want you now. I want you in so many ways. I want to taste your flesh. I want to see how pale I look against your brown skin, my legs around you and my hands all over you. I want to see you take your hair out of your ponytail; long and curly and laced with strands of grey. I want you over me as I lay on my back, you spreading my legs open and you staring at me with your dark brown eyes. I want your tongue inside of me and I want to feel your beard against my thighs. I want to feel small and defenseless to your big, strong body. I want my fingers laced in your hair as your tease me with your cock. I want your cock. I want your hands around my throat as we fuck to metal. I want your cock in my mouth. I want to taste your come. I want to hear what you sound like when you reach orgasm. I want to look you in the eyes and tell you to keep fucking me. I want to striptease for you, I want to kiss you in the middle of the night on my balcony as your hands creep up my skirt, I want to drip in sweat pressed against you. I want to hear you say dirty things in my ear in German, in Hindi, in English, in French. I want you to feed me the food you cook so well, I want to put maple syrup on your full lips to lick. I want you in my bed, I want you on the kitchen counter, I want you in your truck, I want you in the forest on the mountain, I want you tangled tangled tangled with me. I want to smoke weed with you and fuck all night until we are sore. 

When you dropped me off, I sleepily mentioned that I think you are very attractive. You said I wasn't so bad either. With my hand against your bearded cheek (much softer than I imagined), I kissed you. A sweet, sleepy, affectionate kiss. You, a man in his mid-40's, giggled and said that was nice. I wish I kissed you longer, deeper, with more hunger to leave you wanting more. 

You keep your distance, understandably. But, you will be in my bed...I'll see that tattoo again and I'll make you come. 

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